Sunday, August 21, 2011

Satan's Sixes Sunday

"VII: You shall not steal." --(Roman Catholic and Lutheran version of) God

Over the years, while nobody was looking, I've stolen order forms featuring 666 from places I was doing business with. I've sinned. I'm going to hell.

I took my car to Sears for some sort of service, probably a battery died. While the person writing up my order was away from the desk looking something up I noticed that the pad of claim tickets was approaching a magic number. I flipped through the pad and pulled out the one I needed.

In the good old days I had to take little canisters filled with strips of chemically coated plastic to Costco to have them magically convert them to paper with images of scenes I had pointed a camera at. (Now that magic happens in the comfort of my own home.) Where does this magic come from? I think this envelope I was supposed to have used for this procedure (but stole instead) gives us the answer.

There were times I did use the envelopes. No stealing was involved for at least two rolls of film.
(I probably went through the envelopes on the counter to get the ones with the special numbers. Is that kind of stealing?)

I stole this insurance receipt from the United States Postal Service. I hope the statute of limitations has expired for this federal crime.

Since this film processing envelope came from Vons in Santa Barbara, I'm assuming that Karen stole this one for me. I've received stolen property.

Karen sent me this one just last week. She recently rented a car and was given this form. No stealing was involved here.

The Beast is everywhere and is constantly offering temptation. I can't help myself. The forbidden fruit is so sweet!

3 comments:

Colleen said...

Why you little devil!

Anonymous said...

Which do you have more of -- 666s or turtles?

Chuckbert said...

I think we'll know the answer to your question in just a few weeks.