Successories

You've probably seen Successories^® products. Their motivational posters feature beautifully photographed scenes and extraordinarily apt sentiments that high-powered managers strew around their workplaces to inspire their extraordinary teams to perform at 110%. No, make that 120%!

I had a manager who had many of these posters around the office and in the conference rooms. Most of us felt that they were rah-rah, cheerleader-y drivel. We enjoyed the products from Despair, Inc. that are parodies of the Successories. They feature the same sort of beautiful photography but sentiments befitting the Dilbertesque environment we work in. Wally's desk surely holds the Pessimist's Mug that lets you know when the glass is half empty.

But there might be something to the Successories items (or at least the people who think that they're swell). The manager who provided us with all that inspirational sap left the company and started his own company. He sold it to a big, multinational company for megabucks, started another company and sold that one to another company for more megabucks. He made many people rather wealthy.

Our marketing group seems to have seen those posters and have decided that they can show potential customers that we can be just as inspirational.

Or something.

There are some posters on the wall outside the bathrooms in the part of the building where they make presentations to potential customers. I guess they're supposed to see that they'll become high-powered competitors in their fields if they use our product.

But the posters are lacking the beautiful photography of the Successories. And the sappy sentiments. Heck, I don't know what the point of the posters are. They wouldn't inspire me to buy anything.

One tells them that we'll make their companies smarter.
The model doesn't really give me the impression that intelligence is to be found here. He's just somebody smiling for the camera. And I'm not sure what the swirls of light are supposed to inspire. That he's getting brighter?

The one that really bewilders me is the one that says we'll enable business growth.
How does a bored looking person staring blankly into the camera illustrate that a company is going to make its customers' companies grow? What are they trying to tell me?

I'll never understand those people in Marketing.