I find that a bit beyond arrogant for her to declare her own work to be divine. She could at least get the client to make that declaration. (The results are usually nice but a bit too cluttered.)
Today, I made bread. I modified a recipe from Rose Levy Beranbaum's "The Bread Bible." This is a "bible" the author herself tells us. The Word of God. Was it written by God herself or did Ms. Beranbaum simply channel it? That is a pompous title for the book. But I bought it anyway.
The book takes itself way too seriously (even if it had had the title "Bread Recipes"). She expresses the ingredients based on The Dough Percentage. That might be useful if I were loading my mixer with a hundred pound bag of flour but I'm not. Nor are any of her readers. As a result, her lists of ingredients have 2.4 grams of yeast. (Well, she does give us the measurement in teaspoons but we're supposed to measure by weight to get the best results.) My scale's accuracy is to two grams. One that is accurate to tenths of a gram would cost a fortune.
In the list of ingredients measured by volume she tells me to use "2 1/4 cups plus 2 1/2 tablespoons" of flour. Then, even though she uses this hyperprecision, she told me to use a very imprecise "scant 1 3/4 liquid cups" of water. My snit level rises there.
The book is filled with other overly precise statements. The recipe I followed tells me that the "dough will weigh about 44.25 ounces/1258 grams." "About"? I could swallow "about 44 oz./1250 grams" but to go to the quarter ounce or to the gram is ludicrous. Especially after we're told that the amount of flour that is needed is influenced by the humidity we're experiencing while mixing the dough.
Then the book is filled with instructions that I find badly written. It gives us lists of ingredients for a step, tells us to assemble the ingredients and do a step, do another step then add an ingredient that was in the list for the first step. "Your bread will be ruined if you add the salt too early! IT WILL KILL THE YEAST!!!" she tells us but she kind of lets us goof because the salt is included with the list of things for step one. She doesn't tell us to add it in that step but she could as least not include it in the ingredients for that step.
(Adding salt then isn't a problem. Just ask AB. Some of his advice in his bread making episode were to let us know that some bread cookbooks are too fussy. I think this is one he was telling us about.)
But this is the Word of God. I need to go to confession to ask forgiveness for using the Lord's name in vain.
Anyway, after I get over my snits about all these things, the bread she has me make is pretty good. I just hate her instructions.
I made her "Basic Soft White Sandwich Loaf" and added Asiago cheese to it. It turned out nummy. Especially toasted and buttered!
Here's the finished product.
Heavenly (if I may say so myself)!
5 comments:
What a plate of shrimp!
We made cinnamon rolls this afternoon. I was teaching Xin how to measure-sort of. Vanilla should always be measured in overflow.
We all thought that the rolls were yummy. We gave some to the neighbors since they helped us to fix the door.
Your bread is beautiful!
That woman sounds like she is really full of herself. I'm glad your bread turned out well in spite of the directions. It is beautiful.
Jerry always measures too much vanilla. He measures the amount for the recipe then accidentally refills the measuring spoon. I have to take care of his mistake. I love vanilla extract!
Yum! Looks great!
Don't get drunk on the vanilla!
That loaf is beautiful. I work with a lot of people that are full of themselves...self, self, self!, so I can get myself in a snit with instructions like that, too.
I always overflow vanilla. I love vanilla! Do you remember when Gram told us that she would use vanilla extract for perfume? I love the flavor, but I don't want to smell like a sugar cookie!
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